Friday, September 14, 2007

I really dont like thinking up titles....

especially when i dont really know what to say...

Today and yesterday I am /was grateful for: my sister had surgery today (to have melonoma cut out ) and I spoke to her and she is doing ok.

My son was excited about going to youth group - i love that he is making friends and with people who are likely to be a good influence on him.

Cuddles with my babies

Today and yesterday I acheived:
planted strawberries and tomatos and carnations and more pansies.

lots of housework

another beaded bell

bought a walking stick for my mother

Watched movie.. searching for Davids heart with miss K... cried a lot

and a lot...

so all and all not a very interesting update


Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Update for P (and anyone else who is interested)

I forgot the gym. - I went this morning (Wednesday) and have made arrangements to go when L is here tomorrow spraying the cats head weeds.

Coffee was good. My friend lost her daughter (20) *i think age is right* in a car accident a year and 4 days after I lost my Zac.
I also closed Zac's bank account on Friday morning.

Seeds still havent sprouted yet but I am still keeping them watered

I bought an azeala plant its pink

Good things from Wednesday

No Cat vomit

Cat didnt dig holes in garden

I went to the gym. Did the scale thing. No I am not telling.
Walked for 16mins 48 seconds
Cycled for 12 minutes
Did 2 upper body exercises on the machines.

Went to Bible Study. Wanted to - not so much like an obligation

Finished 3 Christmas beaded decorations (started last night) a star a bell and a candy cane

AND MR 4 put the lids BACK on the pens WOW thats great isnt it.

Smile everyone


To all my loyal followers I apologise for my absense......

I still dont have a cat. (if people were wondering) so still no cat vomit but life has had been good. Not a lot has changed, its been me.

On Friday I travelled down to Katoomba with some ladies from church for Katoomba womens conference - a huge gathering of Christian women from all over. There was about 2000 women at the conference and about 100 where we stayed. I was quite overwhelmed by being with so many people.

I was talking to a friend before going and I really didnt want to go. In my mind was that I just wont fit in with the women, that they are all happily married with nice homes they own *or are paying off* with lovely kids. Oh and they were all lovely Christian women. Me.... well as per the cat vomit story... I have been seeing a lot of negative about me. As a Christian I had a lot of negative thoughts. I really felt like I was a fraud as a christian.

The focus of the weekend was about living life to Gods drum. One of the speakers said something that really sat with me...She was talking about what Christians can do when life gets tough.
1. Beleive but live like those around you. Live to the worlds drum
2. Surround yourselves only with Christians- easy to live to live as a Christian like this
3. Live in the world - but live to Gods drumbeat.
This third option was what they were saying was important.

I have been fitting into the worlds drum. I havent felt like I belonged at Church with church people. I know how lonely I have been. More than that I have been feeling very poor me. I met women on the weekend that had experienced suffering in their lives too and continued to struggle with problems and really big things and continued to trust God and try and live with His aims for thier lives.

One of the speakers Lisa P. was real. Not just academic. She spoke of how she has struggled through with a child with global delay and austism, and had a pregnancy diagnosed with a fatal brain injury. She had the child, and their daughter lived for 50 days. She described a very real reaction.. intrusive thoughts that blamed God that questioned God. But she is persevering. The theme was about how do we think about God when we are exile. Somewhere over the weekend I dont know exactly where or how but somewhere I was touched, my heart.

I do have a huge amount on my plate, but I have been playing the victim in my head... poor me... after all I've been through.

I am not sure really where I am going with this train of thought. Before the weekend, I felt that I HAD to beleive (for Z) but I feel now that I have come back from some kind of self imposed exile. I know I have challenges ahead. I can see many areas in my life where I live according to what the world would think is ok and some of these things are going to be hard to change.

I have started reading the bible each evening. and praying.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

What went wow on Wednesday...

Positive things, some neutral things with a positive spin from today...

1. Last soccer training of the season for darling daughter.... always cold and windy at the ovals and entertaining a four year old for an hour while miss 7 trains is not fun.

2. mr 4 picked up most of the bits of paper that was on the floor from his sizzor practice. (dont you just love it when they do that)

3.Made a time to go to the gym with a friend tomorrow; I am more likely to go if I plan with someone else rather than myself.. am good at breaking promises to myself

4. Remembered to text someone who I have been particularily bad at catching up with and arranged to go out for coffee on Friday.

I am so glad I dont own a cat....

was what I was thinking of today as I came home. I had a migraine, it was the two girls first day back at school after having the vomiting bug and they were hyper and just getting at each other.. louder and louder and louder.... and darling four year old was unusually tired and clingy and looked almost like he was coming down with it too. So I got home and looked at my garden (to visualise just think of a patch of dirt with bricks around it) and still no seedlings sprouting.. come on its been at least a fortnight maybe a week since i put the seeds in. So as I am filling up the watering can at the tap I suddenly thought how lucky I was not to have a cat because I dont have to clean up cat vomit today. And I smiled. And then I thought that I am never adopting a cat because I like having something to smile about each day......

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

More Gratefulness

Thanks to my list I am feeling a lot better today and so far no cat vomit anywhere.... not on the carpet not on the couch.... I recieved this in an email from a good friend today and it made me smile it was sooo apt.... (See especially the part on chairs...I have tried to colour the text so it stands out)

Rules for Cats to Live By

BATHROOMS:Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.

DOORS:Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get door open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquitoseason.

CHAIRS AND RUGS:If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good.When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it is as long as a humans bare foot.

HAMPERING: If one of your humans is engaged in some activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping,"otherwise known as "hampering." Following are the rules for "hampering:"
1) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannotbe seen and thereby stand a better chance of beingstepped on and then picked up and comforted.
2) For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless youcan lie across the book itself.
3) For paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure asmuch of the work as possible or at least. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or pen.
4) When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper. Humans love to jump.
5) When human is working at computer, jump up on desk, walk across keyboard, bat atmouse pointer on screen and then lay in human's lapacross arms, hampering typing in progress.

WALKING:As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human,especially: on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they firstget up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.

BEDTIME:Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move around.

LITTER BOX:When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.

HIDING:Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you.Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will cover you with love and kisses and you will probably get a treat.

ONE LAST THOUGHT:Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, turn around,and present your butt to them.Humans love this, so do it often.And don't forget guests!

Monday, September 3, 2007


Today I am down, really quite down. Its a combination of iron being low, and depression and a head cold. YUK....

When I feel like this I find that it helps to start listing things that went well today. When all else is going badly I can honestly say that I am grateful that the cat didn't vomit on the couch today...Now this is a great place to start because its always good... See i dont have a cat...and thinking this means that I have a good thing happen to me every day because I really HATE cleaning up cat perk from the couch.. I am glad that today again I dont have to clean up cat vomit....

Along this line of thought I decided to start this blog, to list the good things that happen to me now matter how small because focussing on good is a great way to not focus on the bad... and in life everyone has bad.

Mondays Gratitude List

1. No cat Vomit YEHHHH
2. I have eaten today (so many people in the world cant say this I need to remind myself that this is good)
3. I have friends who love me and kick me up the butt if I focus on the negative (you know who you are)
4. Darling Daughter(DD)12, did vomit.. but she missed the couch as well... strait into the bathtub.... much easier to clean than the carpet
5. My mother is coming to visit me for a week for my birthday .
6. Apart from the aforementioned vomitting episode, my children are all relatively healthy (arguing children is a sign of health right???)
7. I have a house to clean. I have a sink with running water to wash up in and a bed to sleep in.